I still have to tell you about my "I’m-never-going-to-do-that-again" experience in Inner Mongolia during the Mid-Autumn Festival also known by me as "Moon-cake Season", but right now I’m going to tell you about one of the difficult aspect of living in China.
Last year when I first came to Beijing, for the first couple months I felt as though I were in a dream. Was I really in China? What is this amazing and wonderful place? I dreaming, but it was a good dream, one that aroused my curiosity enough to keep "sleeping" so I could enjoy the experience. Now one year later and this dream-like state is not as strong as it used to be but it comes and goes periodically…and not in a pleasant way.
Tonight I went out to a Mexican restaurant and met up with fellow Jamaicans. It was really nice to be around people who spoke Patois and who shared the same cultural experiences that I did. On my way back to the University, the other 2 Jamaicans at my school and myself were talking about how University was for us back in Jamaica. While we were talking, I began to look around and that’s when it hit me(for the millionth time) that I was in China. That was when I started to feel as though I was in a dream again, but it was no longer exciting, it was actually a little bit scary. It was scary because although we were talking about Jamaica and the lives we had before, it was a little hard to fathom having lived a life in Jamaica before China. It was also uncomfortable thinking about how far away my previous reality is from my current reality. If anything happens I can’t just jump on a plane and return home; The plane ticket is too expensive and even if I could just buy a ticket, I’d have to spend an entire day traveling between time zones to get to Jamaica.
Most days I feel well adapted to life in China, but then other days it hits me and I realize how different Beijing is from Jamaica and I think that is what scares me. Since these two countries are so different trying to imagine a life outside of the current one becomes a bit challenging at times.
Whenever this happens I remember the saying "If you dig a hole deep enough, you will come out on the other side of the Earth in China". I can understand why, China is a whole other world all on its own.